I strongly believe that the rain has a way to pull outt the deepest of our emotions, that we have had buried for a long time . It's been a few days since i lost someone precious to me and my method of coping was to distract myself , but today when it started raining - all that resolve vanished and the memories started coming back , i realised what i was trying to run away from . The weight on my chest was almsot too much but also i found some comfort in the rain - i felt like i was allowed to grive as long as it was raining. The rain brought me back to face reality, idk how long it will take me to move on from this but i know that i needed this rain today to take a step forward.
I am dealing ridiculously bored today. I openedInstagram closed it., opened You Tube, closed that too, and somehow ended upbstaring at the ceiling like it might suddenly provide entertainment. Even my usual playlists sound boring. Maybe I don't actually need another video or endless scrolling. Maybe I need to do something completely random. I could cook something, sketch badly, rearrange my room, or just go outside for a walk. Anything is better than refreshing the same appsbevery three minutes. So people please suggest me something
Today was exhausting and I would like to file a formal complaint against my owner. She woke me up by checking Instagram before even opening her eyes. Then comes 37 notification, three screenshots of absolutely nothing and a battery percentage crisis at 12%. She took me everywhere dropped me twice, ignored five important messages and used me as a flashlight to find me under her pillow. Atvmidnight , she finally plugged me in. I thought my suffering was over . Then she whispered "Just one more reel."
I learned today that Oxford University isvoldervthan the Aztec Empire, and my brain immediately refused to accept it. That one fact send me down a ridiculous historical rabbit holebi started reading about Oxford, then the Aztecs, then mediaeval Europe and somehow ended up leaving about ancient plumbing. What began as one random facts became an hour of jumping between centuries. History is dangerous when you are wondering how people lived without Wifi.
When the evening paints the sky in gold.
I find your hand and lose the cold.
The city fades, the stars appear
And every distant scound feels near.
It tomorrow takes us far away
I'll still remember Yesterday.
Your laughter lingers likeba tune,
A little place of borrowed moon.
If srorms arrive and skies turn gray.
I'll choose your heart and choose to stay.
Through every silence every scar.
I'll find you , wherever you are.
So let the seasons rise and fall
Let time rewrite the shapebof all
If love is home then let me be
Whatever you are wherever we.
I learned today that Africa is large enough to fit the United States, China, India and several Ruroppean countries inside it, honestly, my brain needed a moment. I opened a map to check then started comparing borders, sizes, time zones,deserts and oddly shaped countries. One fact somehow became a geography investigation. Forty minutes later?
iwas zooming around IGoogle Maps, wondering why school maps madevthe world look completely different from reality.
I learned today that a day on Venus is longer than its year, and naturally, I had questions. I started reading about Venus, then it's strange rotation, extreme temperatures, clouds, and atmosphere Somehow, I ended up comparing planetary days and years across the solar system. I only wanted one weird fact before bed . Forty minutes later I was lying under my blanket staring at the ceiling and wondering how many other completely ridiculous things are happening above us while we casually go about our day.
I learned today that 0.999... is actually equal to 1. And my first reaction was, "Absolutely not". Naturally, I had to investigate, I started reading about decimals, fractions, limits and why an infinite string of 9s can represent exactly the same number as 1. Then I tried proving it myself with a few different methods.nwhat started as one irritating littlebfact turned into an hour of mathematical condusion and fascination. Somehow maths hadbmanaged to make a number I used every day feels suspicious.
There are these moments in life where we are completely clueless and envision all impossible things ahead and expect only negative things happening and you don’t know what to do that sec!
Hey everyone! It’s me again with another journal of mine where I try to make you feel not everything is impossible that you make yourself feel it’s impossible
I have myself come across these situations in my life and what I have learnt in dealing with those is
“JUST BREATH”
it’s that simple, just breath until you feel that your able to think present not future not past
There is always this pattern that has followed for millions of time and that’s TIME
Time changes everything! People your with, behaviour, hobbies, personality, choices, places etc.
But always remember that, time can also make t…
We shifted our house in 2021, from Chotta Shimla to New Shimla. We had only one day to do it because the new tenants were coming the next day.
We booked a small pickup truck. My father, me, and the driver. Three people.It started raining at 10 am. Not heavy, but that Shimla wala continuous rain which makes everything slippery.
We had this old almirah. Very heavy, my grandfather's. Four people are needed to lift it. But we were only three. We tried to push it down the stairs. Halfway down, the driver slipped. The almirah hit the wall and one of its legs broke. Loud sound.My mother came out and shouted "aaram se karo, kya kar rahe ho."
We left it there on the stairs for 20 minutes, just standing in the rain, covered with a plastic sheet. Then we called our neighbour's son. He came, and fina…
I never thought life could become this much beautiful, or that I would learn so much from everything I’ve been through.
Today, I feel genuinely very grateful and happy for everything that came along my way. Every person, every situation, every experience, and even the things I never expected to teach me anything.
Each one of them shaped me in some way and helped me become the person I am today. I choose growth over complaining, learning over wasting time, and moving forward instead of wasting time.
I am thankful for every little thing that played a part in shaping me, even the things once didn’t understand.
I’m grateful for the journey, the lessons, and everything that made me who I am.
Few things didn’t happend the way I wanted, but they still gave me something I needed. A lesson, a litt…
They say, there is never too late , life always has a u turn. If you know that your decision is not about your happiness, there is better option to change it. Regret is always not a last choice for any mistake.
But, is a u turn always works in every situation? Perhaps no. Some mistakes are not to be ammended. They are like a lesson for anyone. Such types of mistakes are only happens to teach us a deep lesson about life's unexpected faces. Such situations are only meant to accept our mistakes and move on.
I also wanted take a u turn in my life, when I saw my bad decisions making my life unworthy. But in my case, it was not possible. I have to take responsibility for my decisions.
But, can I make it better? I think still my life is in my hands. Not completely, but slightly I can make it bet…
If you had to choose between your dream and your responsibilities, which one would you choose?
Sometimes life doesn’t ask us whether we are ready to give up on our dreams. It simply puts responsibility in front of us and asks us to handle them.
We start thinking “maybe I’ll chase it later”.
Later becomes next year. Next year becomes when things get better. And in long term dreams become a memory.
But maybe giving up is not always answer. Maybe sometimes we need to adapt, pause, adjust, change to keep our dream alive.
I believe responsibility matters but so does the person we want to become.
Why does everything feel slightly different at night?
I don’t know if it’s just me, but somehow a completely ordinary day can feel boring, and then the clock crosses 11 PM and suddenly I want to do everything. Clean my room. Rearrange my cupboard. Start a new series. Make a playlist. Learn something random. Plan my entire future. And obviously, think about things I didn’t even remember existed five minutes ago.
There’s something about nighttime that makes normal things feel interesting.
During the day, everyone is busy. There are messages, calls, work, studies, people asking questions, notifications going off every few minutes. Your mind is constantly moving from one thing to another
But at night, everything becomes quieter. Even your phone feels different when the whole house is asleep and you’re just sitting there scrolling.
And somehow, th…
What happened when you feeling left out or outcast
It happened with me so many time,don’t know why if it really happened or I think too much . In my childhood I have changed schools due to some reason and when ever I join new school I felt outcast .I want to be friends with those who are smart or labelled as cool but somehow I end being left out .I act like a cool person or try to impress others but eventually I felt left out. In my family I always feel left out in gatherings or functions no one actually give attention to me they treat me as if I m some kind of alien or other species and I don’t belong to them or one of them .
Sometimes I feels like I overthink
I don’t know if it’s my nature or behaviour I mean if someone approaches me or talk to me or became my friend I give them p…
Sometimes I wonder how easily we forget to appreciate what we have while thinking about everything we don’t.
We look at someone else’s life and notice what exists in theirs that doesn’t exist in ours.Someone has a bigger friend circle.
Someone has a relationship we wish we had.
Someone travels more.
Someone has a family that seems closer.
Someone has opportunities we keep waiting for.
And slowly, without realizing it, we start believing that our life is incomplete.
We spend so much time asking, “Why don’t I have this?” that we forget to ask, “What do I already have?”
Maybe that’s the question we don’t ask often enough.There might be people who would give anything to have the kind of ordinary day you’re complaining about.
The friend you casually talk to every evening.The parent who reminds…
Have you ever had a day when nothing particularly bad happened, yet you still felt… wrong?
No one insulted you. Nobody told you that you weren’t good enough. Nothing went terribly wrong. And yet, somewhere inside, there is this
strange heaviness that makes you question your own worth.You try to understand it.“Why am I feeling like this?”
But you don’t have an answer.Maybe that’s what makes it harder.Sometimes we can explain sadness. We can point towards a reason—an argument, a disappointment, a rejection, a bad day. But there are moments when sadness simply arrives without introducing itself.
You wake up feeling a little less confident than yesterday.You look at other people and somehow feel like everyone is moving forward while you’re standing still.
Someone achieves something, and instea…
There is something beautiful in the strength of a woman who knows that she will be okay, even when someone leaves, plans change, or if their plans don't work out.
I have slowly learned that independence does not mean that one is always self-sufficient. It is a matter of knowing that one's sense of self will not vanish just because someone walks away. I have tasted independence; it is in choosing myself over the wants of others in my most desperate hours, or in simply enduring my doubt until I have my answer.
Independence is not a grand gesture, but a series of small decisions that show you what you truly want by choosing yourself. Because if everyone left, I would still have myself. And I think that is a kind of freedom worth knowing.
I have been pretending to be okay for soo long that i almost believed it myself.
On the outside, everything looks normal . I wake up, i go to classes, i laugh with friends, i reply to messages, i post like nothing is wrong. But inside,i feel tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep can fix, but the kind that comes from carrying too many thoughts at once.
I worry about my future constantly. Everyone around me seems to have a plan. They know what they want to become, where they want to go, who they want to be. I am still figuring it out. I smile and say i have it all sorted, but truth is i am scared. Scared of failing, scared of disappointing my parents, scared of being left behind while everyone else moves forward.
Sometimes i scroll through social media late at night and compare myself …
At this point i don't drink coffee to keep myself awake instead i wake up to drink coffee. Literally my whole mood depends on whether i have had my coffee or not. And i am tryna fix it , because it isn't a good thing to be so dependant on smtg and also because my mother has statred hiding my coffee kah stash 😔🥀 . I am literally like middle aged people dependent on tea , the only difference is that my choice of drug is coffee . It's not even expansive coffee , i only ever have Nescafe or bru , can't afford starbucks . YET. soon someday I guess but for right now i think it's time to let go of this addic6or atleast try to .
You learn a little closer, I forgot to breathe,
Your fingers brush mine, then quickly leave.
We laugh like friends, pretending we're fine.
While your eyes keep secretly searching for mine.
You whisper my name beneath thevmoonlighti feel your warmth, butccall it alright
We find excuses to stay a little late.
Walking slowly pretending we're tempting fate.
You fix my hair, I tease your sleeve.
Neither of us knows what we believe.
You hold my gaze a second too long
Then laugh it away like nothing is wrong
If this isn't love whyvdowsnmy heart race?
Why does your touch leave warmth in its place?
Why do I miss you before you go?
Maybe we're lovers waiting to know.
I noticed something today. Eyes are terrible at keeping secrets. People can carefully choose their worlds, amilevat the right moments, and pretend everything is perfectly normal , but theirveyes usually betray them. I saw it in someone today - the way their expression softenedbwhenbthey looked at a particular person. Nothing wasbsaidbyet somehow everything was obvious.
It made me think about how often we communicate without realizing it. A nervous glance a lingering stare, quietly looking away or suddenly avoiding someone's eyes can say more than an entire conversation. Maybe that's why eye contact feels so intimate.bwords can be rehearsed Eyes rarely are.
Today was supposed to be ordinary. I woke up late, turned my toast, missed the first bus, and spent the morning pretending. I wasn't annoyed, things somehow became quieter. I bought tea frombthe little shop near thevroad and sat outside watching people hurry past
Nobody knew me there and strangely. I liked that. On the way home.ni received a message from someone I hadn't spoken to in months. I stared at it for five minutes before replying. Nothing dramatic happened today. No great achievement,no disaster, no revelation.
Just a day . Maybe that's enough sometimes.
Sometimes I wonder how much of my inner voice actually belongs to me.
Growing up, I heard so many warnings, comparisons, criticisms, and harsh words that I slowly learned to question myself before anyone else could. If I made a mistake, I already knew what I would be told. If I wanted to go somewhere, I already imagined the questions. If I wanted to make my own choice, guilt came before confidence.
I started hiding little things—not because I wanted to become dishonest, but because honesty often felt like it would only bring another argument.
The strange part is that parents may forget the words they said years ago, but children can carry them for much longer.
Sometimes, when I look at myself, I don’t see someone who lacks confidence. I see someone who has been taught to doubt herself too …
Sometime I look back at certain moments of my life and think, “What if I had made a different decision? Maybe my life would have been different.”
And honestly, sometimes that thought still hurts. I wish I could go back and tell that version of myself to look at things differently.
But I also know I can’t change what has already happened. With time I’ve started seeing those moments differently. The things that once made me feel angry, hopeless, lost and broken also taught me things I probably wouldn’t have learned any other way.
Maybe that phase wasn’t something I was supposed to change. Maybe it was something I was supposed to go through.
So now, I’m learning to be grateful for both the good and the difficult parts of my life. Because if those things hadn’t happened, I might not have becom…
I don’t think I became a liar because I wanted to.
I became one because telling the truth started feeling dangerous.
When every small thing becomes an argument, every outing needs an explanation, every friend becomes a question, and every decision gets judged, you slowly learn to keep things to yourself.
So you start saying, “I’m studying” when you’re actually talking to someone. You say, “I’m going with a friend” but leave out certain details. Not because you’re proud of lying, but because you already know what the reaction will be.
And the worst part?
My parents think their strictness is protecting me.
Maybe they don’t realize that sometimes, too many rules don’t make a child more honest. They just teach them how to hide better.
I wish I could tell them the truth without being scared of …
I found a ₹10 coin inside my college bag today, and I have absolutely no idea how it got there.i haven't used cash in weeks, I showed it to my friends, who immediately suggested I buy a biscuit with it "before inflation gets it".
After college, I actually did, I stood at the small petty shop, bought one Parle -G packet and ate it while waiting for the bus. Somehow that forgotten coin had given me the most satisfying snacks I'd had all week.
Maybe happiness doesn't always need UPI. Sometimes it is hiding inside an old bag pocket
There are certain moments in life when you suddenly feel like you have finally become an adult.
For me, that moment lasted approximately seventeen minutes.
It started on a completely normal morning. I woke up, looked at the time, and immediately realized I had slept through three alarms. Instead of panicking, I calmly stared at the ceiling and thought, “This is fine. I am a responsible person.”
I don’t know why I lied to myself that early in the morning.I got out of bed, folded my blanket, drank water, and even opened my notebook to make a to-do list. I wrote:
Study.
Be productive.
Organize life.
Stop wasting time.
Become successful.
Looking at the list, I felt incredibly proud.Then I spent twenty minutes choosing the perfect pen to write the date.
After that, I decided to make my room lo…
Sometimes I genuinely wish there was a way to go back in time and simply not meet certain people not because I hate them not because I want anything bad for them I just wonder how different life would’ve been if our paths had never crossed in the first place.
There are people you meet and think, “I’m glad I know you.”
And then there are people you meet and, years later, think, “Why did I ever let this person into my life?”
The strange part is, you usually don’t know which one someone will become when you first meet them.
A stranger can become an important part of your life. Someone you trust can eventually become a lesson. Someone you thought would stay forever can become someone whose name you barely hear anymore.
And sometimes, it’s not even the person you miss you miss who you were bef…
I played cricket on the street today after almost three years . The rules were the usual nonsense. One - tip- one- hand, parked cars were boundaries and hitting someone's window meant immediately retirement. I was terrible.
Then somehow the final ball came to me. Two runs needed . Everyone scremed different advice. I awung, missed and heard the ball hit something behind me silence.
It has bounced off a parked scooter and rolled perfectly across the boundary. Everyone argued for ten minutes about whether it counted . We never decided. We just laughed until the streetlights came on. Honestly that felt better than winning.
